Funeral Sound
by Besieged Infection
Summary: AU I know they're playing your music, and I know you should be here in my arms... (Dedicated to FuneralSound.)


Funeral Sound

Note: Written for my best friend; FuneralSound. Don't own Kingdom Hearts. Warning: Really sad.

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The sound of this funeral is deafening.

I can't hear anything here, but I know they're playing your music. It was in your Will that you wanted them to play your music at your funeral. You wanted people to be happy even though you would never smile at us again.

I know they're playing your music with the way people nod their heads around me. That's the beat of your favorite song. The song you wrote for me. When you first played that song for me I couldn't help but laugh- the lyrics were so corny I couldn't help it. I felt bad for that. You didn't play anything for me for a month. Two months later you played it for me again, that overlarge blue sitar of yours seated faithfully on your lap as you sang that song you wrote for me with all your heart. I couldn't help but cry.

I loved it too much.

I loved the meaning too much.

I loved you too much.

I know they're playing your music.

I know they're playing your music by the way everyone's crying and smiling at the same time. You'd be happy to know that your parents, who have been divorced for so long, are holding each other through their tears. I know they're playing your music from the way from the way the people I had known as the other members of 'Melodious Nocturne' seem to stiffen and look down at the ground.

I know they're playing your music from the way my throat is choked up, the way the tears won't stop streaming down my face, and the feeling that I miss you so much it hurts.

I know they're playing your music, and how I wish I could hear it too. I can't hear anything right now. I can't hear the 'twang' of your sitar, can't see your lips moving so slowly to form those lovely words; can't feel the way you shake in my arms with happiness whenever I tell you I love you, which I would be saying in a mantra once again if you were here right now. Not there in that coffin; here in my arms.

I know they're playing your music because I can't hear it any more. As soon as it started everything went silent and no one bothered to stop these tears when my fists clenched on the casket and I fell to my knees. I don't know if I'm sobbing; I hope I'm not. You wanted me to be happy. You always told me you wanted a happy funeral. You didn't want people crying at your funeral; you wanted anyone who hears your funeral to think a birthday party was going on, not someone's death. Of course, you always thought you would live to a ripe old age before you died. Cancer when you're seventeen is a lousy way to die.

I know they're playing your music, the song you wrote for me, from the way I can't seem to stop crying after I get up and look at your face. It's still flawless even after all those times you fell down, weak from all the chemo.

I know they're playing your music because I know this isn't a joke; that this can't be a joke. I know things will never be the same; I know I will never be the same. I know music will never be the same, I know I won't be able to listen to music without seeing your face.

I know they're playing your music from the way the funeral has no sound. Mouths are moving, but I can't hear anything. The speakers are loud enough, not too loud but loud enough, to be heard over the people, but I can't hear the people.

I know they're playing your music. They promised, after all.

I know they're playing your music, and I can't help but hate it. Hate how I can't experience your funeral like you wanted me to. You told me that time in the hospital that, should you die before you had grown up, you wanted me to be happy; to find another person.

I know they're playing your music because I know I could never have another: another best friend, another classmate, another lover as wonderful as you had been.

I know they're playing your music since I know I will never love anyone ever again. You were my one and only and you were gone forever. You leave me here alone and wish me luck in love? You're kidding, right?

I know they're playing your music in a way that it hurts my heart just to be here. Of course, it would pain me more not to see your face on last time, and I know I would regret it if I hadn't come, but…

I know they're playing your music because I just _know_ that I will never see you again after this. Our pictures we took together, how meager they are since I was so _selfish_ when you were alive and did not like pictures being taken of me, are all I'll have left of us after this. Of course, you always did look better in person than on some roll of film.

I know they're playing your music and I hate it. I hate how other people are here with me and I just want you to sit up and smile at me. Yes, that silly smile that I always said was stupid. You know I love that smile. You _have_ to know I love that smile because I would always smile back at you.

I know they're playing your music, and everyone must be so surprised that I'm crying like this. No one knew us as lovers. They knew us as Demyx and Zexion; the popular guy and the creepy nerd he hung out with that had no emotions.

I know they're playing your music because I just don't care that they're looking at me with knowing smiles. They know that song was for me.

I know they're playing your music because they know this song was for me and they just got it.

The sound of your funeral is deafening.

But then again, I never thought I would hear your funeral's sound.

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End Notes: Wow… wrote that in one hour… that was good, in my opinion. Oh yeah; if anyone hasn't caught on, FuneralSound is my best friend in real life. She and I hang out all the time. Before you jump to conclusions, she is not my lover. She is taken and I am single. (hint, hint!)

With love,

Besieged Infection


End file.
